Dr. Cara Williams, Clinical Psychologist & Director of Research in the School of Psychology at Central State University, Carteret County, North Carolina.
Dr. Cara Williams, Clinical Psychologist & Director of Research in the School of Psychology at Central State University, Carteret County, North Carolina.
Cara, by today’s standards, is a strong, driven woman, and those traits would be spot-on accurate if driven includes total control over just about every damn thing and every damn body. Did I mention that she has a good heart? She refuses to accept that one cannot lose the control one never had in the first place because she is always in control, even when she’s spinning out of it. She exudes a sense of momentum even when she’s standing still, yet not knowing the difference between free-falling and feeling weightless flying all the way to the scene of the crash. It always ended as it always began…in a crash.
It started when she lost her parents when she was in her early teens in a car crash. By two years, her younger brother, Russell, represented her big brother because he was…big that is. Four years later, in another car crash, she lost him, too. How many more crashes God had in store for her life gnawed at her mind when some nights ended with another kind of crash. Life was a crash.
The night her guardian Uncle Frank decided Cara would be his treat for the evening, and thought drunkenly it was a good plan until two shots to his face and one to the heart changed the plan. Cara had reached her limit, and her firearm training courtesy of her father kicked in and ended the evening…for good. Despite her tormenter being dead, the dark memories lingered and terrorized her in nightmares. Cara had her own brand of PTSD, from physical abuse to sexual to emotional abuse…leaving behind permanent scars from those abuses before that fateful night when she reached her limit and snapped, killing her uncle. That was yet another milestone of guilt to carry. She’d killed a man, and that added to the list of why she was damaged goods and not worthy to love or be loved. It seemed like it did not matter. Whenever someone she loved left her life, it was in a crash.
I guess that explains the desire to protect her privacy, her past story of sexual abuse, and why she took it upon herself to overcome it permanently and then live with the maintenance of the secret. No one knew about her secret, that dark, convicting secret of her past, a still fresh scar that is a reminder that she is unworthy of having an intimate loving relationship; at least, that’s what she’s been telling herself.
The influences of trust and control collide when she gets the chance, and they conflict with her paranoia and a private brand of PTSD. She can be a bit volatile and come across as a bit of a bitch at times…but did I mention she has a very good heart?
She has her faults, as do we all, but underneath, a human heart needs to be forgiven, especially when the forgiver is herself. She’s more lovable than she gives herself credit for, and even that can be a challenge to break through until somebody helps her feel it and believe it. Then, she meets Russell Carter.
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Peace! G.
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