How would you react to the knowledge of having a spiritual presence within you? Kat had her hands and her heart full. Had she been too compliant to follow Big Crow with Little Feet’s every direction? But then, how could she not when her heart won over her head. It became easier to believe when Maddie met the medicine man shortly before passing out. Kat was stunned also by his reference to being a spirit in both women. Things were becoming more real.
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Chapter #9 – Presence
Kat squeezed Maddie’s hand and accepted the tissue as she leaned back to wipe tears away, sniffing at what threatened to leak from her nose. Maddie, the stronger of the two, said, “I need to know what happened to you from when you left Dallas to when you walked through my door.”
Kat recounted the story in detail, hoping her sister knew this was not one of her typical dreams. Too much could not be confirmed, but Maddie smelled the smoke and heard spoken words. Those things were undeniably real and confirmed experiences.
Kat challenged her sister, “You just heard Big Crow with Little Feet telling you to believe me. Right? You smelled the smoke. Right?”
“Yes, but I’m struggling to believe what I smelled and heard. I just don’t know what to believe…,” Maddie trailed off.
“Hah!” said Kat, “Welcome to my world; he’s been in and out of my backseat since I stopped outside El Paso to refill my iced tea. It’s like he kidnapped me, but not really. That’s what’s so confusing. I refused to go with him for one second, then caved in total compliance the next. It’s like there was a spell cast over me or something. I knew I was wide awake, but things happened that should not…should never be a part of awakeness.
He told me I had a role in the spiritual reconnection of two lost souls, and I’m still struggling with the idea and going, why me? I’m terrified and, at the same time, feel like my participation is a reasonable solution to this dilemma. I can’t explain it, but I felt compelled to care. I was drawn to be involved to whatever extent necessary. It was like…like feelings I had no choice but to bring these two lovers together. And here we are…”
“So, you just let this Big Crow Indian spirit dude just whisk you away to some remote cliff dwelling for a sanctioned rape? Jesus, Kat that is so not like you. You’re a fighter, and you let this happen? Help me understand why you would compromise your morals for some Indian Chief, no matter who needed to be reconnected to consummate a…”
Kat interrupted loudly, “Medicine man, not Chief. Listen, I hear what you’re saying, but there was; I mean, there is something inside of me that has power over me. I’m not sure what it is or why it’s there, and this is the craziest thing of all, but I have compassion for these two lovers who supposedly had roamed the ether for over a century and a half searching for one another. The old Indian woman at the service station told me I was the Duwit chonah mowna jawneek.”
“Du what? Maddie asked
“Duwit chonah mowna jawneek, which means in the Tewa language, the Spirit of Dew on Flowers, was within me. Somehow, I carried her spirit.”
Big Crow said I was the only one who could help them reconnect. I felt overcome with the desire to see it through…and I did willingly…terrified…but willingly. In my most recent backseat conversation with Big Crow, he implied I carried the seed of Shadow Eagle.”
“Oh lovely…so you did fuck him,” said Maddie, not asking, but telling.
“No!” protested Kat, “…well…maybe…if a spiritual union experience counts.
“What the hell does that mean?” pressed Maddie.
“I had no control over anything. I was paralyzed and could not resist. Something lifted me off my feet and forced my body onto his to connect with him. Big Crow promised me the connection would be a spiritual union and not to worry, but I felt him, Maddie. I felt Shadow Eagle inside me and melted into his arms, wanting him there. God only knows what really happened, but I experienced an orgasm like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I was totally outside myself and clung to him as we fell off the mesa’s edge toward the rocky ground over 200 feet below. He held me tightly, and I didn’t care. I wanted him to hold me regardless of the consequences.’
“Damn, girl,” exclaimed Maddie under her breath.
“That’s when a Park Ranger woke me by banging on the limo window with his flashlight. I was disoriented, no clue what was going on. But I knew I was fully alive, in my car, and fully dressed. Maybe this whole thing was a spiritual encounter. Maybe it was a vivid dream. I mean, I had just plunged…naked, I might add…locked in a sexual embrace in the arms of an Indian spirit off a 200-foot mesa. How could any of it be real, especially when I wake up behind the wheel of the limo with my clothes in place?”
Maddie said nothing as she slowly shook her head, weighing every word.
“It gets crazier,” promised Kat.
“Oh joy,” remarked Maddie.
“C’mon, just listen! This shit happened to me, Maddie! Be serious!” Kat scolded her sister angrily. Maddie nodded and promised to withhold her editorial comments.
“It was late, 10:00 PM or so, and the Ranger was going to write me up for trying to spend the night sleeping in the parking lot. I got lucky. He got an emergency call on his radio, let me off with a warning, and left. I left right behind him on a mission to get some answers. I drove several hours back to that old service station to have a little heart-to-heart with the old Indian woman who set this whole thing in motion by telling me that I was the Duwit chonah mowna jawneek and carried the spirit of Dew on Flowers.”
“Now that sounds more like something my little sister would do,” said Maddie. “How did that turn out?”
“I think I got more validation of what I feared, more so than the answers I needed. When I arrived at the exit, I slid into the station parking lot with too much speed and skidded sideways with my headlights sweeping across the parking lot. I swear it was the right station; the green dinosaur Sinclair sign confirmed it, but everything was different.”
“Different, how?” Maddie asked, now sitting on the edge of her seat.
“This is where it gets weirder,” said Kat, “The station was abandoned. It had to have been abandoned for many years. There were no window signs, several were broken out, the front screen door hung by a single hinge, and the overgrown grasses and weeds hid most of the parking lot. What I saw outside the station diner did not match up with everything that had happened earlier in the day.
I had to go inside and see for myself. When I pulled the remnants of the screen door fully open, the remaining hinge snapped, and the door clattered to the ground. The knob was missing on the interior door, so I pushed it open against protesting hinges. It looked the same, except there was dust and blown sand everywhere and on everything. Lights from the car filtered through what was left of the windows, and dust from my arrival floated in the beams. That’s when I spotted it, hurling me to my tipping point. Right there in front of the seat where I sat listening to Desert Breeze was a half-full mug of tea sitting in the dust. That’s when all the spiritual shit of the moment hit the fan.”
“Sweet baby Jesus,” remarked Maddie, lifting her hands to cover her mouth.
Kat’s momentum increased as she reflected on her explanation, “I didn’t count, but I think I took three steps before crashing through the front door. Maddie, I’m telling you parts of this had to be real, and parts of it had to be spiritual Indian voodoo. I don’t know where the lines of one cross over into the other. I do know I witnessed a triple murder in 1864. Okay, that was a dream, I got that, and that’s the dream where I heard several words about a massacre and a strange name I knew nothing about. Something drove me to dig deeper; what made me want to know more?
At 4 A.M., I immediately fired up Google after coming out of the second dream to search for answers. The results led me to a cast of characters I’d never known and would never meet. Some I would meet over the next several days, one of whom I am being led to believe was supposedly in me as a spirit. There’s Big Crow with Little Feet, who I kind of like, who comes and goes as he pleases, always dragging smoke he says that comes from passing through the ether. He’s real. You know he is real because you heard him and smelled the smoke. As for the sanctioned rape, spiritual or otherwise, on top of the mesa, I’m leaning toward a dream, a very vivid dream I’ll surely never have again, but I am alive, very alive, and here talking with you.”
Maddie sat silently and looked at her sister, “I wish something could prove that I’m not imagining any of this. Can you get Crow Feet to make an appearance? I want to see something with my own eyes, or is he dedicated to your dreams and the limo’s back seat?”
Kat said nothing as she considered Big Crow’s promise to always be close to her. It might be worth a shot; leaning back, she called to him, “Big Crow with Little Feet, you promised always to remain close to me. Was that a real promise or another one of your lies?”
Nothing happened. Both women looked at each other and said nothing for several minutes. Maddie started to stand up just as a whiff of wood smoke wafted over them. She whirled around and screamed. Standing in the archway into the den stood nearly seven feet of medicine man dressed head-to-toe in black with a crumpled top hat sitting on a head with long gray hair.
“Hello, Madeline. Do you now believe I am real?” He reached out with a bony hand, and she jumped back, nearly tripping over her chair.
“Don’t touch me,” she shrieked, half hiding behind Kat, staring in disbelief at a man who had appeared out of the air. The scent of wood smoke was quite strong but unseen and rapidly diminished.
“Madeline, I will not bring harm to you or Katherine. You are seeing me with your own eyes because I imagined it is important for you to have proof of life that I exist. Only people I choose to see me do physically.”
“Katherine,” he said softly, “Yes, I did promise to always be near you, and I never lied to you about anything.”
Kat was used to Big Crow’s presence and spoke frankly, “Oh yeah, what about that spiritual union you described where Shadow Eagle and I connected?”
Big Crow smiled and said, “It was a spiritual union, Katherine.”
She was close to shouting, “Yeah, well, I’d call it rape. That’s not spiritual; that’s a violation. He violated my body. Plus, you said I had royal Puye blood in me from generations ago and that I would carry your great-great-grandson from the seed of Shadow Eagle. So…am I pregnant with his child?”
Big Crow did not answer her question, “Shadow Eagle was the great-grandson of my son. Our family bloodline ended with Shadow Eagle’s murder. It ended until I found you in your dreams and knew there was hope to restore our family legacy. Because of your courage and caring, he will grow to be a strong man and a good man.”
“Who is HE?” Kat demanded.
“We must wait for him to be named,” Big Crow explained.
“WE?” exclaimed Kat.
Maddie held her phone up and snapped a picture of Big Crow with Little Feet as Kat stood abruptly and redirected her question at a very high volume. “Let me ask you again, Crow, am I fucking pregnant with his child?”
Maddie gasped and said, “He’s not real. Look!” showing Kat the pic she had just taken. The archway was empty in the pic, but Big Crow still stood there smiling.
“Only those who see me are allowed to see me,” he reminded.
“You’re a ghost,” Maddie gasped.
“Spirit,” he corrected, “or a Presence, if you prefer. I am a presence within Katherine and you, so you see and hear me speaking. If anyone else were here, they would wonder why you were talking to an empty room.”
Maddie had ten shades of shock on her face before she fainted. Kat saw her sister’s eyes roll back and grabbed her on the way to the floor. Maddie’s body weight caused Kat to lose her balance and collapsed on top of her. Kat rolled off Maddie’s unconscious body, looked at Big Crow, and asked weakly, “Presence?”
Big Crow with Little Feet did not answer; he had disappeared, taking his scent with him.
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Hope you enjoyed chapter #9 Still editing and writing…more story yet to share, so keep checking back. Would love to know what you think so far gdogwise@live.com
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