I’m working on a new version of “Dreamscape Conspiracy” and am amazed at how powerful some of the segments come across. Here’s a piece that I see as central to how Russell Carter, one of the key characters, suffers from his PTSD affliction. This is not an easy piece to read, much less write, but it is essential in understanding the man who plays a significant role in the following 3 “Dreamscape Conspiracy” books.
I won’t tell you to enjoy, but read to understand how this man is affected by his past. It may give you an appreciation for someone you know who deals with PTSD, regardless of the reason behind it all.
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The potent elixir that would swallow him into sleep was slipping between fresh sheets after a hot shower. As he closed his eyes, he thought about the dream study and wondered what dreams Dr. Williams would feed into his sleep. As blackness closed over him, his last waking thoughts were of Dr. Williams and the vibe he thought…he hoped…he’d picked up from her.
When he opened his eyes, he heard Set whisper in his ear. “Hold, Spike. I can’t see her hand.”
“I can’t either,” he replied, “in another ten yards, she’ll be behind that cart, and I’ll lose the shot.”
“We’re looking at the same picture, dude. Hold!
Wait for the go,” said Set, his Spotter.
Spike was Russell Carter’s call sign in Afghanistan. He was a Marine Force Recon Scout Sniper. His spotter, Peter “Set” Druthers, had been teamed with him for nearly two years in his second tour in the sandbox. They were a deadly team providing overwatch for the Force Recon platoons of six men on the ground below.
Pete set up the targets, and Russ spiked them with a single high-velocity NATO 7.62x51mm round from his M40A5 sniper rifle; one shot, one kill. To date, they have had 87 confirmed kills. Number 88 stood alone in the middle of the street and earned target status because they suspected she was wired with explosives. Under closer inspection from his high-powered scope, she also looked to be about 12 years old and scared to death.
“Hold! Be ready, Spike,” whispered Set. “Wait for the go. As soon as she pulls her left hand out of her robe, I’ll see what she’s holding.”
Spike had his eye glued to his scope’s eyepiece with his trigger finger outside the trigger guard. What had not been said was a reality they both tried to ignore and push out of their minds. Wait for the go, and then murder that frightened little girl standing almost 300 yards away.
A detonator was visible when her hand lifted beyond the folds of her chador. “Fire, fire, fire!” called Set. On the third utterance of fire, Spike followed sniper protocol, pressed the trigger, and shot the little girl in the face a split second before she was blown into a million pieces by her suicide vest. Was it still murder if she planned to kill six Force Recon Marines? Did he kill her, or was it the explosive vest before his round arrived? Was it a win because the Recon Team was out of range of the blast? Did the fact that she wore a suicide vest justify anything?
Russ had no answers to these questions and did not think he ever would. One thing he was confident of, however, was that the dream would never let him forget the tears he saw through his scope on that little girl’s face before he ended her. Even telling himself that he had saved her from who knows what else in her young life, his heart had a permanent scar to remind him of what he had done. He knew he was unredeemable.
Russ awoke soaked in sweat courtesy of the dream. Would it ever end? He got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck to relieve the stress he always felt afterward.
He had only been asleep for thirty minutes, but it felt like he had progressed through most of the night. He filled a glass of water from the dispenser on the refrigerator, leaned back against the countertop, and waited for his heart rate to settle. The dream never varied. The guilt never lessened.
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As many times as I’ve written this piece, I struggle to stifle tears. C’mon, man, this is fiction. I’m the author making this up. How can this made-up piece be so impactful? It’s what I strive to do, and I hope my readers feel it, too!.
Peace! G.
Available on Amazon at https://bit.ly/3qjKNjd